Throw Back Thursday: Beneath The Surface
I love going back through old illustration from college. It's filled with so much nostalgia and remembering of where I was at in my life when I was creating that work. It's much like listening to an old album that brings back speific memories.
I was asked to create an illustration with the title Beneath The Surface. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted with the concept and metaphor, it just had to be inspired by the title.
Around the same time that I started that assignment, I forced myself to go to the doctor. And if you guys know me at all, you know how much I hate doing to the doctor. But for about a month or two, I was feeling constantly fatigued, had lots of aches and pains, and was catching every cold that went around school. In short, I was feeling pretty gross.
When I went to the doctor, surprisingly (and not so surprised at the same time) I was given a depression test. The doctor then told me I was clinically depressed and wrote me a prescription or medication. To make a long story short, I realized what was dealing with beneath the surface. I was trying to act normal around my friends and family so they wooudln't think anything was wrong. I felt like a horrible person for burdening them with my feelings. I was so so so wrong and there will always be someone to reach out and talk to if you are dealing with something like depression. So this illustration was my way of trying to convey what I was feeling, along with knowing there was hope.
Also, on the subject of depression, I never ended up filling the prescription. I really really wanted to find a way to cope with my depression without medication, so I turned to what came most natural to me: painting. If you haven't yet, and are interested in this subject, check out my collection of illustrations Midnight Menageries, all having to do with dealing with my depression and expressing those feelings.